From The Mouths of Babes (babes being children, that is)

My youngest child will be 7 on Friday. We were coming home from play rehearsal tonight and he says, "Friday's my birthday and I get to take cupcakes or cookies to school and then when I get home, I get to go to Grammy's; that's really lucky!" I was very touched by the sweetness in that little boy's statement, feeling lucky to be able to spend his birthday with his grandparents. I have always been very proud of the fact that I have a close family and that I have a good relationship with my parents. To see my children have the same strong bond with my parents (and our extended family) makes me feel like the luckiest person on earth.

Not Again...

I can't sleep. I was half asleep and half awake (I could hear some godawful video on MTV) and all of a sudden, my heart started racing like crazy and I felt an insane fear come over me.

Panic attack. I was suddenly terrified of one thing only: what if I miss The Rapture? I've blogged about religion once before; it was pretty much one of my first posts. One of my biggest fears is "what if I'm not really saved?". I've thought about that a lot. It even crossed my mind at the Easter church service on Sunday.

I say that I'm a Christian and that I believe in God and anytime I'm scared or hurting, I immediately pray to God for comfort. But what if I don't genuinely believe that which I profess? How do I know for certain I'll go to Heaven when I die?

I accepted Christ as my Savior as a child; I was probably 7 or 8. However, religion has always scared the heck outta me. I can remember going to church as a small child at a particular Baptist church listening to the preacher talk about hell and being damned for eternity and the end of the world.

I can't explain the fear that came over me upon hearing those particular sermons. It was then that I became a little afraid of religion. I re-dedicated my life to Christ at a church service in Bridgeport a couple of years ago. I still can't help being scared of whether or not I'm a Believer for all the wrong reasons.

It's so hard to explain and at this hour of the night, I probably shouldn't even attempt to try. I'll just pray about it and see if I can go back to sleep...

The Spare Room

For about a month or so, I've been kicking around the idea of renting a small booth at a Plano antique/craft mall near my parents' house.

I was laid off in November so I've had a considerable amount of time on my hands which has stimulated my creative juices.

Anyway, I was telling Robert today that since he has moved the computer to his office, I should really transform our former home office into an art studio, if you will, for me.

He never really gave me a yes or no--more like a grunt, "Humm." That's a yes in my book so tomorrow, I'll begin rearranging the room and organizing my supplies, making the room conducive for creating.