2008 In Pictures

Me still doin what I do best!


My favorite "artsy" pic of me


I didn't know at the time that Robert took this picture but I love it.


Robert and I on Main Beach in Laguna (our favorite vacation get-away)


My boys


Emily, Myself and Sarah at the reunion


My 10 year reunion was everything I thought it would be!


Tammy and I


Myself and Al with the puppets...




Ask me how much I love Bill Finley and how excited I was to meet him!


Robert and I in Austin


My knight in shining armor


Brad and Robert dressed for Halloween


Phillip and I


Me, Stephen and Robert


Me, Robert and Ashley


Me and my friend Kristen


Me with my friends Terry and Tammy


Robert and I with our friend Lauren


Right before David deployed to Iraq


Robert and I with my cousins, Javier, Louis and Daniel

Just The Facts, Ma'am

A friend of mine challenged me via facebook to rattle off 16 random facts about myself. I responded directly but decided to post here as well. Here you go, kiddies. 16 'fun-filled' facts about me that you probably don't know.

16.) I can't stand it when my hands feel dirty. I'm not a compulsive hand-washer but I can always tell when it's time to dash to the bathroom to wash my hands by the way they feel during the day.
15.) I'm afraid to die but sometimes I wonder if it's better to die young or if I should hold out hope of living to see 100.
14.) I have made it my goal to be the ultimate hardbody by the time I turn 30 next November.
13.) I am never 100% honest with myself because then it means I have to admit my shortcomings and mistakes. If I fool myself, then reality isn't so bad.
12.) If I eat a salad frm a salad bar, I MUST put dressing on the lettuce before I put anything else on it or else I can't eat it.
11.) I am terrified of latex balloons. I don't want to be anywhere near one, especially if someone is touching it and making it squeak.
10.) I used to be afraid that someone was going to put GHB in my drinks--even at restaurants.
9.) I match my underwear to the color of my outfit. For example, I would NEVER wear a black bra or black undies if my top was brown or neutral colored.
8.) I love talking to my mom's mom and call her on a bi-weekly basis. I can tell her anything and I know she won't give me some bullshit answer and she'll support my supernatural thoughts. Plus I think it's cool that she used to have psychic visions.
7.) The older I get, the more I want to convert to Judaism. I have always felt a huge connection with the Jewish faith.
6.) Sometimes I can't believe I'm a mom because I always told myself that I would never have children.
5.) I think I've finally gotten over believing that I'm dying from an "ailment-of-the-day."
4.) I don't have a close relationship with my brother and can count on two hands (barely) how many times I've seen him since we've both been out of the house; it makes me sad.
3.) I have never not been in a relationship and have no idea what it's like to depend on just me emotionally or financially. I ponder that fact on a daily basis.
2.) I have not yet experienced the loss of an immediate family member and I dread the day it happens to me because I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it.
1.) I am afraid to poop in public. I will wait in a bathroom stall until the bathroom clears completely before I do my thing and if people start to file in while I'm doing it, I will silently bitch at them for having to go to the bathroom and continually flush the toilet so no one can hear me crap.

Christmastime is here...

Tonight was our annual Christmas Eve dinner at my grandma's house and I have to say that it was the absolute best time ever. I ate way too much (homemade tamales that only come once a year), laughed until I cried, and for once didn't have to worry about leaving too early. All my cousins and their babies were there, my aunts, uncles, parents, and some of my grandma's church friends as well. There is nothing like family at Christmas. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again, I have one of the most amazing families in the history of ever and nothing will ever change that. Merry Christmas, everyone!

I'm in love!!!

I have a new favorite beer, ya'll. A few months ago, the hubs and I ventured into this great beer pub in downtown Ft Worth, The Flying Saucer and we tried one of those beer samplers with like, 5 different beers. One of our selections was Harp Lager and... I LOVE IT! I can't find it in too many locales, though, so anytime we go to the Saucer, that's my drink of choice. I had some last night when we ate dinner at an Irish pub in Denton, too. Yum-O!

Birthday Pictures

me and my girls


the pregame


Natalie and I and some random guy


Steph and I


"Quagmire" and I

OVERRATED

That would be Tony Romo. I've never been a Romo fan and I never will be. He's absolutely the most overrated QB in Cowboys history and last night's game proved that he does not have what it takes to get the job done. Can we say beat down? Ugh.

The big 3-0

Last blog about birthdays and such but I just had to document the fact that there are only 361 days until the big 3-0. As such, I've made a promise to myself that it's going to be my best year ever. My magic birthday (30 on the 30th) and it's a milestone. Be that as it may, I'm gonna knock 'em dead and have decided that I am not going to be happy with myself until I look like my fitness idols, Jen Hendershott

and jamie eason


Call me crazy but it's gonna happen come hell or high water. I know what it takes to get there and I will.

Don't you hate it when...

you're dreaming and it's a really BAD dream so you wake yourself up and hope that when you fall back to sleep, you'll dream something totally different? Well, that's what happened with me last night. I had this horrific dream that everyone in my family was being hunted down and beheaded. I can't say the exact name of the person who was behind the executions because it's a real-life person I know and whom I have always thought was somewhat shady.

Anyway, I woke myself up 3 times right before being beheaded only to fall asleep and have the dream pick up where it left off. It rarely happens to me but I hate that, especially when it's something crappy. Right before I woke up for good, I begged to talk to my boys because for some reason, they were not targets. There I was sobbing on the phone to both of them telling them how much I loved them and to be strong. That's when I forced myself awake for the last time.

I Wonder

My 29th birthday was yesterday. As crazy as it sounds, I always think about death at least once on my birthday. I know someone whose sister died two years ago on my birthday (killed by a drunk driver) and she was only 30, I think. Anyway, it got me thinking: is it better--for lack of a nicer term--to pass away young or at an old age? I mean, we're all going to die one day but really, I do wonder. Sometimes I think I want to die at a young age because I'm afraid of getting old, but on the flip side, I want to live to see 100 because I'm afraid to die and I don't want to miss anything. Isn't it crazy the things I think about when I have too much time on my hands?

PS--today is world AIDS day. RIP Uncle Frankie.

Turkey Day!

I am always glad when Thanksgiving rolls around. It has long been my favorite holiday and not just because I love to eat. Some of my best childhood memories are those of Thanksgivings spent with family. This year, we all wrote down something we're thankful for and I couldn't resist putting in my two cents. I have always been thankful that I come from a good family. We're close, we see each other often, my children are surrounded by aunts, uncles and a plethora of cousins and the glue that holds us all together is faith in God. It's always a good day to be a member of my clan but today, especially, is a day when I'm most thankful I have the family that I do.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

Yea. It's just around the corner. It totally doesn't seem like the holidays are upon us. I say it every year but I'm really not into it this year. Well, not into Christmas. It probably doesn't help that we're still having highs in the mid 70's and like the day before yesterday, 80. But seriously, our household is totally slacking. We have ALWAYS put out Christmas decor the day after Halloween, but this year when did we get the tree put up? Monday. It's very sad. My poor hubby loves Christmas more than any other holiday so I know he looks forward to getting the stuff up early to get him in a non-Grinch mood for at least a month out of the year.
Okay, so let's get past Thanksgiving (my all-time favorite holiday) and then we'll worry about tackling the dreaded Christmas.

My Bucket List

I was thinking about life the other day (imagine that) and how a lot of people make lists of things they hope to accomplish before they die. I have a bucket list of my very own and even though I've posted it once before, I thought I'd post it again as a reminder that I should look forward to these things. Here we go...

-Watch a Dallas Mavericks game in living person (I haven't seen one in person since I was about 6 years old).
-Go to an Iowa State football game in Ames
-Ride a mechanical bull (check)
-Be a professional singer or actress (check)
-Visit the following places in the world: Vienna, Germany, England, Scotland, Ireland, Poland
-Visit the following places in the US: Boston and Salem, Mass; Portland, OR; NYC, Maine, Nantucket Island, Seattle (again)
-buy a house
-drive a 325i BMW
-See Billy Joel and Rod Stewart in concert
-Participate in an athletic competition that I spend a long time preparing for
-go to Connecticut in the fall to see the foilage
-go to Woodstock, VT in the winter for their annual Wassail Festival
-I want a real wedding on the beach
-Live to be 100

My Debut...

Last week, I made my debut as "Vera" the pillowfighter. Unfortunately, my friend "Smashley" kicked my ass. Good times were had by all and sorry, boys, the girls stayed tucked in, haha!

President Barack Obama

Like it was a huge shocker. All I have to say now is, "Lord, help us all."

Halloween Pictures

Here are some pictures of my oldest as Beetlejuice (and his neighbor friend as that monster). There's my youngest as my knight in shining armor and my crazy hubby as... mullet man!

Back from Hiatus

And I see I haven't missed anything. Work has been crazy busy for me which is a good thing! Pee-wee football is in high gear and the workouts are progressing nicely. I am so bad. I have promised updated photos but I have yet to upload them so my apologies to any readers I might have. Halloween is two days away and I haven't gotten a costume. I hadn't planned on going to any parties until tonight. So... suggestions are welcome although I'm pretty sure I'm going as an Army brat. Easy enough, and I can sexy it up a little, haha! Anyway, all is well and I'm still alive and kickin'.

"What Wedding?"

Case closed.

I Don't Care

Have you ever had days where you just couldn't care less about anything? Well, I've had one of those WEEKS. I don't care about anything. I have only been to the gym once, I haven't cared about what food I consume, haven't cared that I didn't put on a stitch of makeup at work this week... I don't know what it is but I.JUST.DON'T.CARE. I feel like that little boy in the story, Pierre, who only said, "I don't care!"

Just a Random Thought

I was attempting to take a survey on my myspace the other day and was going to post it as a bulletin but I got annoyed because most of the questions were like, "did you talk to the person you like today?" and "are you still in love with your ex?"--total BS questions. Anyway, one question really struck me. It asked, "Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?"

It got me thinking: the last person whose hand I held was my youngest son's. That is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination but it made me sad because I can't remember the last time I held my oldest boy's hand. Was it when he was little like his brother? I love my oldest but he's not a little boy anymore and those moments like that with my "baby" are fleeting. Before I know it, he won't reach for my hand when we cross a parking lot. Time is no longer on my side...

A Song For You

Isn't it funny how a song triggers so many memories? I was thinking about that on my way to work this morning. The song "If" by Bread came on an oldies radio station and it immediately made me think of my oldest son. When he was very little (probably 2 or 3) I used to play Bread's greatest hits CD in the car and he absolutely loved that song. Now, every time I hear it, I think of him strapped in his carseat, thumb in his mouth clutching his blanket and humming along to the song.
Now that he's older, I think of him every time I hear "So Long Self" by Mercyme.

I have at least one song for each of my boys. Every time I hear Norah Jones' "Don't Know Why" I think about my youngest as a newborn. I'll never forget: it was one of the first nights we had him home from the hospital and I had gotten up with him in the night to give him a bottle. I turned on VH1 to have music to rock him by and the video for that song came on as soon as we sat down. It was beautiful and soothing and he was in such a peaceful state. I'm always taken right back to that glider rocker in the middle of the night holding this tiny baby every time I hear the song.

My song for my hubby will ALWAYS be "Love Fool" by the Cardigans. It was just becoming popular when we first met and we were on the phone late one night and he randomly just broke into song with the line, "love me, love me" and I remember how it caught him off-guard that I was so amused by it and we both laughed really hard! He and I still chuckle anytime we're together and the song happens to come on the radio.

Music holds so many great memories for me. Blame it on my nostalgic personality. There's hardly a song that brings back a bad or even a sad memory for me. "Even if the whole world has forgotten, the song remembers when..." (The Song Remembers When, Trisha Yearwood)

It's like a trainwreck; I can't look away!

I tend to get sucked into 'reality' shows and CMT's "My Big Redneck Wedding" is no different. I know I really shouldn't watch that crap but I just can't help it. Call it a guilty indulgence of mine!

CMT just started its second season of "My Big Redneck Wedding." It's a
show hosted by Tom Arnold that follows the preparation and ceremony of
redneck weddings. I totally can't help but watch it
when I see it! It's hard to believe that there are true country bumpkin
families that live this way (and I'm sure they would say the same about
me if they watched my lifestyle on TV). These folks can't speak plain
English, drink beer for breakfast, don't believe in teeth and their
most popular form of entertainment is diving in the middle of puddles or
tearing up their non-exsistent lawns with dune buggys.
Anywho, the second
season premiere was on Saturday night (and subsequently repeated Monday)
and it was the granddaddy of all
redneck weddings. Meet Anna and Bo of Alabama....a loving couple who
share everything together: a home, the bed, their mutual love... and the
same parents! Yes, a brother/groom and sister/bride got married. They
are not blood related, but Anna was adopted by Bo's parents and they grew up
together - that makes them brother and sister, my friends! I felt like
taking a shower after watching that because I just felt plain dirty.
Their wedding archway had shotgun shells hanging from it and
the mom talked with the daughter about her kids having sex together.
The topper came when the mom/daughter were arguing about the wedding
dress and the mom got a bit upset, so she ended everything by shouting,
"You're gonna marry your brother tomorrow whether you like it or not!"

Greatness indeed.

The "I" Word

I posted awhile back about how over the summer I sold teeth whitening products in a local mall to earn extra cash for our trip to Laguna in July. In this post, I mentioned that I got fired 2 days after I got home because I wasn't "manipulative" enough to sell the product to the masses.

This morning we were in our weekly meeting at work and my boss was talking about the importance of integrity. He gave a couple of examples of times when he advised people of the right thing to do where it pertains to their properties and the buyer/seller ultimately did the opposite and we ended up losing the listing or the buyer. It doesn't happen too often to our office but it DOES happen. I just thought it was really cool how he was talking about the importance of doing the right thing rather than compromising our principles for a buck.

It made me think of how lucky I was to have been fired from the teeth whitening biz (which I wasn't ever crazy about to begin with) only to be offered this great job with such an incredible boss and co-workers a few weeks later. I finally feel like I'm in the right place.

Leavin' on a Jetplane

My brother is in the Navy. Early in the year, he voluntarily loaned himself to the Army and is now in Kuwait en route to Iraq. I don't exactly know what he'll be doing there but he'll be gone for close to a year. Is it wrong that I'm not worried that he won't come back? I feel kinda guilty for being so blase' when I say, "my brother's in Iraq."

(pictured above: my parents, my husband, my brother and his wife, my boys and me in the middle)

The Workouts

I am progressing very nicely with workouts. Last week was my first week of serious training and I won't lie--I felt like I had been run over by a truck and walked around like a zombie. This week, I feel great! I'm definitely not as sore as I was last week and I'm loving this clean eating stuff. I made the mistake of not eating clean last weekend and I felt like shit. The diet along with the working out is helping me to see results already. I'm gaining some nice cuts (albeit small ones) and I'm determined to post progress pictures this weekend not only to my blog but to my bodyspace on bodybuilding.com. That is one of the best websites to visit for training and nutrition information as well as for incredible motivation! Inquiring minds probably want to know my workout plan so I'm posting it below. I will follow this plan for 4 weeks and then completely change up the routine to keep my muscles fresh and growing. Yay me! I am so happy; I feel so great!

MONDAY--
45 min cardio
BACK
*wide-grip lat pulldown (3x12)
*single arm dumbbell row (3x12)
BICEPS
*barbell curl (3x12)
*hammer curl (3x12)
CHEST
*flat benchpress (3x12)
*incline dumbbell flye (3x12)

TUESDAY--
45 min cardio
LEGS
*squats (3x15)
*stiff-legged deadlift (3x12)
*leg press (3x12)
*plie squat (3x15)
*skater slides (5x20)

WEDNESDAY--
45 min cardio
SHOULDERS
*seated shoulder press (3x12)
*dumbbell lat raise (3x12)
*bent-over dumbbell lat raise (3x12)
TRICEPS
*lying triceps extension (3x12)
*triceps pressdown (3x12)
QUADS
*leg extension (3x12)
*dumbbell lunge (3x12)

THURSDAY--
45 min cardio
*push ups (3x20)
*concentration curl (3x12)
CALVES
*standing calf raises (3x15-20)
toes out (3x15-20)
toes in (3x15-20)

FRIDAY--
45 min cardio

SATURDAY--
45 min cardio

SUNDAY--
active rest

A New Form of "Child Abuse"? (Warning: this is a novel!)

I've been meaning to blog about this for awhile now. This is a very sensitive topic but I can't not say anything about it.

It makes me really upset to go out in public and see all these overweight children. No, it makes me really angry. I will follow with a couple of examples here in just a minute. I'm not talking about "chubby" kids who will grow out of their babyfat. I'm talking children who are obese. Now, you may think that I am being very insensitive but that's not the case. I had an obese husband who, at one time, weighed 509 lbs. I know what it's like to live with that kind of problem because I dealt with it with him firsthand.

Overweight adults are one thing. Overweight children are quite another matter. It's one thing to be a grown person and make the decision that, "To hell with it, I'm going to down this whopper and french fries." But when parents have no regard as to what goes in their childrens' mouths, that raises so many red flags in my mind.

Last Friday we were at a football game and there was a family sitting behind us. Mom and son (who was probably close to my oldest son's age, 11)were discussing whether or not the boy could have a snack from the concession stand. The boy is not tiny, by any stretch of the imagination. This is right at kick-off, mind you, and mom says no because they had just eaten before the game. It wasn't too much longer when boy goes to concession with grandma or dad after mom says something to the effect of, "Fine. You can go and get a snack but not a meal item." Boy comes back with an order of nachos. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a container of nachos leans more towards the "meal" items on a concession menu. So pretty much what mom said about what he could have from the concession stand went in one ear and out the other.

Last night, Robert goes to the grocery and sees a boy probably no older than our youngest (he's 6) and Robert speculates that the child probably weighs close to 80-85 lbs. I am not naive enough to realize that in some cases, children suffer from health problems that render them overweight (glandular conditions, etc) but when I see parents loading up their shopping buggy with items like ice cream, chips, cookies, Little Debbie, etc., there's more than likely nothing contributing to their childrens' weight gain other than the carelessness of what the parents are feeding them. In a way, it's like child abuse. And I can venture to guess that those same parents don't emphasize the importance of physical activity.

Granted, I'm not Little Miss Perfect when it comes to what my boys eat, BUT our kitchen is not laden with freely-accessible junk food. They are allowed the occasional dessert after dinner but my boys both enjoy physical activity and are outside quiet a bit. A couple of great books for helping kids to eat more healthy are: Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld and Eat Clean Diet for Family and Kids : Simple Strategies for Lasting Health and Fitness by Tosca Reno.

Alright, I'm off my soapbox.

Je ne sais...

Have you ever had to cut a friend loose? Well, today I did. Okay, I am a really nice person (too nice, actually) and I give people a lot of chances but more than anything, I hate being in one-sided friendships. I mean, I completely understand that people lead busy lives and that I won't hear from my friends on a daily basis and that's okay! However, I DO have a problem when one minute, I'm hearing from friends on a daily basis and then it suddenly gets to where I'm hearing from them when they can fit it into their schedule.

I won't name names but case in point: friend is single for a long time. I hear from friend on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day. Even when said friend has no cell phone, I still hear from friend via myspace or email. Friend gets girlfriend and suddenly the tides turn. I hear from friend at random and every attempt I make for friend and girlfriend to meet up with us to hang out is denied. I have specifically invited friend out on at least 4-5 occasions recently and every single time, there's a reason why it just doesn't work out. Coincidence? It makes me wonder and frankly, it irritates me.

You know, I hardly EVER ask anything of anyone. Is it so much to ask for a little respect from people who are "friends"? And people wonder why I have such a hard time with wanting to let new people into my circle or why I have issues with self-worth. Hell, if I continue letting people act as though I'm a convenience, I'm never going to get anywhere. I don't know. Readers, I'm asking for advice. Is cutting out friends like this too extreme? How many times can I give people the benefit of the doubt? How many times can I accept the, "I'm busy" excuse? I hate to use the word excuse but damn. I'm just really, really tired of being the greatest thing since sliced bread one minute and a discarded toy the next.

Hmmm...

Ask me how glad I am it's Friday. This week has totally dragged which is not the norm. More often than not, the days absolutely fly by and I'm left thinking, "damn, it's Friday already?!" So with that in mind, here's what's going on these days.

*Brad's flag football practices start this week--hubby is coaching which automatically makes me Team Mom--this kid is so excited about playing football. I have never seen a child that interested and he's been like that since he was an infant. No lie. This is a kid who, when playing Madden on the PS2, will analyze and study plays for an hour before he decides to put his team in a game situation. At 3 and 4, he would be at football games with us and be
able to identify various aspects of the game (safety, pitch play, jukes, etc.).

*Mom and Dad's 33rd wedding anniversary is Saturday and they're going on a week-long cruise. I'm so glad that they're getting away from it all for awhile! They're finally getting to a point in their lives where they're allowing themselves a few indulgences and it makes me happy that they're doing that. Happy 33rd anniversary!

*Grandma's 72nd birthday is Sunday. God bless this woman! She is so wonderful. She makes me laugh so hard every time I'm around her, her strength and faith in the Lord is so awesome AND she's a survivor of Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma. One of my favorite stories I have of her is this one: Let me preface this by quickly saying that grandma loves the occasional glass of Arbor Mist wine. It's Thanksgiving Day and a bunch of us are sitting around the table getting ready to play cards and she tells my cousin's husband, "There's some infidel wine in the fridge!" Instead of Zinfandel, she said "infidel". Hilarity ensues.

*The State Fair of Texas (i.e. fried food fest)begins today. I haven't been to the Fair since 2003 when I was performing as a back-up singer for King Cone on the Chevy Truck Main Stage. Robert is finally ready to tackle the Fair this year (in previous years he had been too heavy to do any walking but that's a totally different blog post) so we're taking the boys in 2 weeks. I love the Fair. There are so many things to do and so many people to watch. I wonder if my favorite creepy haunted house ride is still around? I used to LOVE that; the exterior always looked so mysterious. New foods this year include: chicken-fried bacon, fried banana splits and Fire & Ice which is some sort of fried pineapple creation. Let the artery clogging begin!

*And finally, my workouts are progressing nicely. I'm lifting 4x a week (working a different muscle group M-Th) and then finishing that off with a 45-min. cardio session. I txt my friend Cody yesterday who's a fellow gym rat and clean eater because I feel like I've been run over by a truck and I'm walking like a zombie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up my quest for the body of a figure athlete, but I haven't worked out this hard since I did the Fit & Fem 6-week challenge at Edge this time last year. Damn, it feels good to be back into a great workout routine. I miss Edge dearly but I've taken a lot with me. Progress results will be posted in 4 weeks as opposed to every week.
"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice The Gift." --Pre

The Stats Are In

Okay, so per my last post I said I was going to keep track of my fitness journey. I officially began my workouts yesterday and began my clean eating 9/15. I have lost 4 lbs and here are my stats which will be updated weekly. They made me cringe but hell, posting them here for the entire www to see makes me accountable.
Week 1 stats are as follows:

Height: 5"0" (that will obviously not change)
Weight: 145
Chest: 43.75"
Biceps: 12"
Hips: 37.75"
Waist: 38"
Thighs: 22"
Calves: 14"
Forearms: 9.50"
Shoulders: 45"
Neck: 14"

Some of my new favorite websites are (I visit them daily):
www.bodybuilding.com
www.figureathlete.com
www.oxygenmag.com (well, that one's been a favorite for a long time)
and i like Tosca Reno's blog on the cleaneating.com website which I read daily.

Progress pictures coming soon!

The Quest

In a little over a year, I will turn the big 3-0. At my 10 year reunion I had an epiphany. I don't want to approach my 30s uncomfortable or unhappy with myself. Like most women, I have been unhappy with my body for the greater part of my life. I've never been the blonde little cheerleader type, never been the most "beautiful" by the general populace's standards and I have always felt the sting.

I've made a commitment to myself that over then next year (and couple of months, give or take) that I am really going to focus on ME and the way I want to look. It's not about a diet anymore. It's a lifestyle change that I have thought about and am beginning to embrace. I will track my progress on this blog and I understand that it will not come overnight.

I'm not only imspired by fellow classmates that were at the reunion this weekend but girls at my (former) gym whom I looked up to and took advice from as well. My ultimate goal is to participate in a figure competition much later down the road like Michelle, Misty, Jill and Bridget did. I know it will take a lot of hard work and discipline but I also know I can do it. Tonight when I get home, I'm going to sit down and map out the journey. It's time. I'm ready.

reunion

what can i say? it was everything I thought it would be and then some! Everything went off without a hitch and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I'm having an issue with my computer so pictures will be posted in another week or so when we go to my parents' house.

this dress eludes me

I have in mind the absolute PERFECT black dress. The problem is this: it exists only in my head. I wish like hell that I could track down my old friend, Servy from high school and have him make one for me. He now has his own line and lives in LA but after he cancelled his myspace, tracking him down has been one huge chore. Anyway, this dress. It's barely above knee-length, has long flowy sleeves that kind of triangle when my arms are straight out, and it has a plunging V-neckline. Don't you hate it when your idea of something perfect only exists in the mind?

3 days to go

My high school reunion weekend starts Friday and I'm so excited! I know I've posted about this before but it's like, actually here now and well, the getting ready is so much fun! Robert and I went shopping for decorations this past weekend since I'm in charge of decorating, I finished centerpieces last night and now all that's left is the superficial stuff--getting my eyebrows waxed, getting a haircut and I want to find a really cute black dress to wear Saturday evening but it's like, WHEN do I have time to go shopping? The answer is: I don't. So... here's to the MHS class of '98; see ya Friday!

NEVER AGAIN

I normally don't like to use the word "never" but I think in this case, it's necessary. I am NEVER drinking rumpleminz (sp?) again!!! That is one potent shot and I woke up out of a dead sleep around 3 am throwing up. The puking continued for 12 hours and I STILL feel like shit. I threw up so much that my stomach started burning and it hurts to eat. Seriously, no liquor is worth that. My poor body!

The Calm

I went running again tonight. The weather has been too perfect not to. I stopped counting after lap 8 so I'm not sure how far I ran but it felt wonderful. I used to hate running track when I was in high school. I did it so I wouldn't fall out of shape for cross country which I loved. I wasn't that great and never claimed to be; I've always run for the love of doing it. I love the solitude of running (I might have inadvertently stolen that sentence from Jessy). I love it that I don't have anyone's expectations to meet but my own. I love that it's the only thing I do that is 100% for no one else but me. But mostly, I love the calm that washes over me while I'm out there. The entire world melts away and it's me, the track and my tunes. I don't worry about anything, and the only thing I care about is the rush I get after knowing that I kicked my own ass and met the challenge.

The "new" 90210

The jury is still out as to my opinion of the revival of my beloved show. I missed the first hour so I'm going to have to go back and watch it next time I have time. Parts of it were totally lame but I liked other parts so... I will have to watch it at least one more time before I can come to a full decision. I was watching some late-night tv gossip show (like Entertainment Tonight or something) and one of the members of the new cast said something incredibly presumptuous like, "We're totally gonna kick the old one's ass." You can only hope for a 10 year run like your predecessor, honey. Steve Sanders, wherefore art thou?!

Today I let him go...

I sent my youngest child into the big, bad world today. Brad started kindergarten. I've honestly been dreading this day all summer and it finally came. I knew I would be upset just like I was upset when Drew started kindergarten. It's so different, though, because he's the baby. He's it. We're not having any more children and the realization that he's getting so big really hit me this morning. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, but my throat got tight and my eyes started blurring with tears when I let go of his hand. I didn't dare speak because I knew I would lose it and I didn't want to scare or worry him. My hubby tried to rationalize for me like only he can do: "Well, he really should be a first grader." We chose to hold him back a year to give him some time to mature and I'm really glad we did because he was ready. He didn't look back and that confidence made letting go a little easier.

I hate food

I really do. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it but I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the guilt I feel when I over-eat. I hate the feeling that runs through my body when I over-eat. It makes me sick to my stomach and it's almost like I can feel my face getting fatter with every step I don't walk or run after I've eaten too much. I hate how I can feel the tops of my thighs brushing together.
Even my most well-intentioned days where I eat as carefully and as clean as possible don't help unless I workout really hard in the gym. I wish someone would lay it out for me and be like, "THIS is what you need to eat." It's not even a vanity thing with me. Just once I want to quit feeling guilty about the food I consume. I don't want to have to think about how physically sick I feel after I've eaten something I told myself I wouldn't. Ugh, I hate that I love food so much.
:-(

Annoys me more than anything

I have very few pet peeves. The one that gets on my nerves the most is being ignored. I can't tell you how much it angers me to go out of my way to contact someone (make plans, just say hello, etc) and get absolutely NO response at all. I understand a delayed email response. Not everyone accesses their email on a daily basis. But when I leave phone messages or send texts when I KNOW that someone's phone gets texts and they're not returned... I'm not vain enough to think that someone should stop what they're doing to respond to me but when days go by and I hear nothing, it pisses me off like no other. Let's just say that I now realize who my friends are.

Thankful

Just a quick blog to mention how thankful I am that I have such a great family. I'm thankful that I grew up having a comfortable home life. By comfortable I don't mean money. I mean, I'm thankful that my parents were loving, supportive, and that they loved each other. I'm thankful that even though they pushed my brother and I to be our best, they also respected our decisions to walk away from what we loved when we needed a break (singing, in my case; my brother chose the military over a college soccer career).
I'm thankful that even though there were tough times financially, we never went without and my parents never let on that they were struggling. My parents both worked very hard to make sure we had everything we needed and sometimes I still can't believe there were times when it was paycheck-to-paycheck because from the exterior, no one would have ever guessed.
I don't get the chance to say thank you to them enough. In my mind, thank you is a given and it shouldn't be. Even now, my parents go above and beyond for us. They do so much more than I could or would ever ask for and they ask for nothing in return. I need to tell them more often how much they're appreciated and how much I love them but my damn pride always gets in the way. I take them for granted and I tend to think that they just know. We're going to see them tomorrow like we do every weekend. It's always good to be able to go home.

This task...

I'm currently thinking, "what have I gotten myself into?!" but in a good way. My hubby is going to kill me but I have been put in charge of decorating the facility hall for my 10 year reunion next month. I'm very excited and definitely up for the challenge but on the other hand, I don't have a whole lot of time to get it all thought out. I'm seeking the advice of the creative! I am pretty artsy myself BUT two heads are always better than one. I'm posting a picture I found of a decorated reunion hall--in our school colors, too--which I think is simple but nice (right now I don't think there's a lot of money to work with). My main concern is going to be centerpieces. Suggestions and ideas are always welcome!

A realization

I was putting laundry in the dryer just a minute ago and I came to the realization that I wear a lot of brown clothing. I don't know why, but I'm just really in love with how brown looks on me. I've heard that black is a flattering color, especially if you're like me and carry a couple of extra pounds, but I almost think that black makes me look heavier. Anyway, it was just a random thought that I felt like blogging about.

The Olympics

I LOVE the Olympics! I have been watching them ever since they started and I am absolutely awestruck by the athleticism of everyone. I love the fact that they put in long hours to be amazing at their sport and I love how it pays off in the end for everyone involved (not just the US athletes). Last night Robert and I watched the men's 4x100M free relay and I think I've played it over a million times. Jason Lezak gave probably the best performance of any anchor leg of a relay that I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong: they ALL swam well, but damn, Lezak was incredible! The best part about these athletes is that in a sport like swimming, it's all heart. There is no professional swimming league where they have a chance to make a million+ dollars a year like the NBA or NFL. It's the pure love of the sport. And how classy of Phelps to congratulate the French anchor, Alain Bernard after the victory! He didn't have to do that, especially after Bernard was quoted as saying: "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." I love being a witness to history.

I'm not over you...

Dear Laguna Beach,
I was sitting on my couch tonight thinking about how it was only a week ago today that I came back to Texas from our visit. I was reminiscing about how it was TWO weeks ago tomorrow that I arrived on the sandy shores and you welcomed me with open arms and a cool ocean breeze. I was missing you so much that I watched my Laguna Beach Season 2 DVDs, secretly seething as locals walked down Pacific Coast Highway and patronized your best eateries and shops. I told Robert that I was considering his consideration of relocating. Once a year just isn't enough for me anymore. They say be careful what you wish for... *sigh*

Eagerly awaiting next summer,

M

Vacation Pictures!

Just click on the big picture to see larger views!

Jake Gyllenhaal

He was in my dream last night. I dreamed that I was at some local baseball game (not even pro) and there he was with his mother and some other relative--not Maggie--and I sat down next to him without saying a word. Then he speaks to me first and I was all, "Yea, I know who you are but you're also just a person so I'm not going to bug you for an autograph or pictures." He seemed to like that answer and then we got to talking and then my brother and his wife appeared in the dream at the top of the stands and I was like, "Isn't it just like you to not tell anyone you were going to be here?" So then everyone in my family gets wind of the fact that I'm now friends with Jake Gyllenhaal and they're all of a sudden wanting to be around me. So Robert and I take Jake, his mother and that other family member of theirs to a house in Highland Shores where I grew up and we're having a great time just hanging out when the doorbell rings and I have to fight off all these people and tell them that, "Jake doesn't want to be bothered."

It was the most insane dream ever especially because I've never really gone ga-ga for him in the first place. The only movies of his that I've ever seen have been Bubble Boy (ugh) and Brokeback Mountain. Otherwise, I know nothing about him.

School

I have re-occuring dreams (nightmares?) about my entire senior class having to go back and retake our senior year all over again but at the age we are now. It's so crazy because even though I loved high school, you couldn't pay me enough money to go through all that again. I think the reason why I keep dreaming about it is because my 10-year reunion is next month. I am so excited and I can't wait to see everyone. In the meantime, I'm busting my butt at the gym. Isn't that what people are supposed to do right before a reunion? :-)

Too honest? I'll take it!

So, I had been working a side-gig job in a local mall hawking teeth whitenings (I know, I know) since early May. I really enjoyed my job. I got to network and meet people and I made pretty decent money to boot. So, I go on vacation for 8 days and when I come back, I call to see if they need me to work this weekend since I knew they'd be short-staffed. The answer I got was that no I didn't need to come in this weekend and that we needed to have "a talk". Long story short, I was told that I am not manipulative enough to try and talk people into buying the product. I am too nice a person and too honest a person to make money for the company. Too honest? Not manipulative enough to talk people into buying? If being too honest a person is a crime, then lock me up! It was really a big complement. I like to think I have a decent amount of integrity, especially since I've been complimented on my honesty several times while working the mall job. I could have easily talked people into buying a product that wouldn't have worked on their teeth or suckered the rich people into padding my personal pockets but I would have lost sleep at night. If I can't make a buck and do it honestly, then it's totally not worth it.

Back to 100 degree weather...

We have returned from vacation. I'm glad to be home but bummed to return to the suffocating heat. The trip was nice and the weather was fantastic! I don't think it got out of the mid-70s the whole time we were in town (Laguna and San Diego). We ran into a couple of fiascos but it definitely made things memorable. Sang karaoke, walked several beaches, visited old favorite places, and the highlight of my trip was definitely getting to meet my brother-in-law, James. Truthfully he's the first of my hubby's family that I have ever met--they're all scattered around the country--and I was sad that I hadn't gotten to meet him earlier.

I know I've been promising pictures since we left but we were never in the hotel long enough for me to upload them to the computer. Tomorrow I will have a little free time so maybe I'll get it taken care of then. In the meantime, kiddies, I'm tired. Ready to get back into MY bed. Another wonderful summer is officially in the books...

vacation so far...

has been interesting. and rushed. and group-oriented. pictures coming soon.

First day of the vacay

We have arrived in Laguna Beach and it's just as wonderful this year as it was last year! The high yesterday was 75-ish with a cool breeze. This morning we're going to see the hubby's brother whom I've never met so I'm a little nervous. I don't have time to post pictures of our first sunset from last night but hopefully I will this evening, along with pictures from meeting James etc.

weekend fun!

Me


Robert, Myself and Tim


Katie and I workin' it on the karaoke stage


So much fun!


The end of a great night

My weekend in pictures

Brad helping at the carwash


Brad singing karaoke (just like his mama) with his friends Dylan and Josh


Lake pictures


my little fish