Today I let him go...

I sent my youngest child into the big, bad world today. Brad started kindergarten. I've honestly been dreading this day all summer and it finally came. I knew I would be upset just like I was upset when Drew started kindergarten. It's so different, though, because he's the baby. He's it. We're not having any more children and the realization that he's getting so big really hit me this morning. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, but my throat got tight and my eyes started blurring with tears when I let go of his hand. I didn't dare speak because I knew I would lose it and I didn't want to scare or worry him. My hubby tried to rationalize for me like only he can do: "Well, he really should be a first grader." We chose to hold him back a year to give him some time to mature and I'm really glad we did because he was ready. He didn't look back and that confidence made letting go a little easier.

I hate food

I really do. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it but I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the guilt I feel when I over-eat. I hate the feeling that runs through my body when I over-eat. It makes me sick to my stomach and it's almost like I can feel my face getting fatter with every step I don't walk or run after I've eaten too much. I hate how I can feel the tops of my thighs brushing together.
Even my most well-intentioned days where I eat as carefully and as clean as possible don't help unless I workout really hard in the gym. I wish someone would lay it out for me and be like, "THIS is what you need to eat." It's not even a vanity thing with me. Just once I want to quit feeling guilty about the food I consume. I don't want to have to think about how physically sick I feel after I've eaten something I told myself I wouldn't. Ugh, I hate that I love food so much.
:-(

Annoys me more than anything

I have very few pet peeves. The one that gets on my nerves the most is being ignored. I can't tell you how much it angers me to go out of my way to contact someone (make plans, just say hello, etc) and get absolutely NO response at all. I understand a delayed email response. Not everyone accesses their email on a daily basis. But when I leave phone messages or send texts when I KNOW that someone's phone gets texts and they're not returned... I'm not vain enough to think that someone should stop what they're doing to respond to me but when days go by and I hear nothing, it pisses me off like no other. Let's just say that I now realize who my friends are.

Thankful

Just a quick blog to mention how thankful I am that I have such a great family. I'm thankful that I grew up having a comfortable home life. By comfortable I don't mean money. I mean, I'm thankful that my parents were loving, supportive, and that they loved each other. I'm thankful that even though they pushed my brother and I to be our best, they also respected our decisions to walk away from what we loved when we needed a break (singing, in my case; my brother chose the military over a college soccer career).
I'm thankful that even though there were tough times financially, we never went without and my parents never let on that they were struggling. My parents both worked very hard to make sure we had everything we needed and sometimes I still can't believe there were times when it was paycheck-to-paycheck because from the exterior, no one would have ever guessed.
I don't get the chance to say thank you to them enough. In my mind, thank you is a given and it shouldn't be. Even now, my parents go above and beyond for us. They do so much more than I could or would ever ask for and they ask for nothing in return. I need to tell them more often how much they're appreciated and how much I love them but my damn pride always gets in the way. I take them for granted and I tend to think that they just know. We're going to see them tomorrow like we do every weekend. It's always good to be able to go home.

This task...

I'm currently thinking, "what have I gotten myself into?!" but in a good way. My hubby is going to kill me but I have been put in charge of decorating the facility hall for my 10 year reunion next month. I'm very excited and definitely up for the challenge but on the other hand, I don't have a whole lot of time to get it all thought out. I'm seeking the advice of the creative! I am pretty artsy myself BUT two heads are always better than one. I'm posting a picture I found of a decorated reunion hall--in our school colors, too--which I think is simple but nice (right now I don't think there's a lot of money to work with). My main concern is going to be centerpieces. Suggestions and ideas are always welcome!

A realization

I was putting laundry in the dryer just a minute ago and I came to the realization that I wear a lot of brown clothing. I don't know why, but I'm just really in love with how brown looks on me. I've heard that black is a flattering color, especially if you're like me and carry a couple of extra pounds, but I almost think that black makes me look heavier. Anyway, it was just a random thought that I felt like blogging about.

The Olympics

I LOVE the Olympics! I have been watching them ever since they started and I am absolutely awestruck by the athleticism of everyone. I love the fact that they put in long hours to be amazing at their sport and I love how it pays off in the end for everyone involved (not just the US athletes). Last night Robert and I watched the men's 4x100M free relay and I think I've played it over a million times. Jason Lezak gave probably the best performance of any anchor leg of a relay that I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong: they ALL swam well, but damn, Lezak was incredible! The best part about these athletes is that in a sport like swimming, it's all heart. There is no professional swimming league where they have a chance to make a million+ dollars a year like the NBA or NFL. It's the pure love of the sport. And how classy of Phelps to congratulate the French anchor, Alain Bernard after the victory! He didn't have to do that, especially after Bernard was quoted as saying: "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." I love being a witness to history.

I'm not over you...

Dear Laguna Beach,
I was sitting on my couch tonight thinking about how it was only a week ago today that I came back to Texas from our visit. I was reminiscing about how it was TWO weeks ago tomorrow that I arrived on the sandy shores and you welcomed me with open arms and a cool ocean breeze. I was missing you so much that I watched my Laguna Beach Season 2 DVDs, secretly seething as locals walked down Pacific Coast Highway and patronized your best eateries and shops. I told Robert that I was considering his consideration of relocating. Once a year just isn't enough for me anymore. They say be careful what you wish for... *sigh*

Eagerly awaiting next summer,

M

Vacation Pictures!

Just click on the big picture to see larger views!

Jake Gyllenhaal

He was in my dream last night. I dreamed that I was at some local baseball game (not even pro) and there he was with his mother and some other relative--not Maggie--and I sat down next to him without saying a word. Then he speaks to me first and I was all, "Yea, I know who you are but you're also just a person so I'm not going to bug you for an autograph or pictures." He seemed to like that answer and then we got to talking and then my brother and his wife appeared in the dream at the top of the stands and I was like, "Isn't it just like you to not tell anyone you were going to be here?" So then everyone in my family gets wind of the fact that I'm now friends with Jake Gyllenhaal and they're all of a sudden wanting to be around me. So Robert and I take Jake, his mother and that other family member of theirs to a house in Highland Shores where I grew up and we're having a great time just hanging out when the doorbell rings and I have to fight off all these people and tell them that, "Jake doesn't want to be bothered."

It was the most insane dream ever especially because I've never really gone ga-ga for him in the first place. The only movies of his that I've ever seen have been Bubble Boy (ugh) and Brokeback Mountain. Otherwise, I know nothing about him.

School

I have re-occuring dreams (nightmares?) about my entire senior class having to go back and retake our senior year all over again but at the age we are now. It's so crazy because even though I loved high school, you couldn't pay me enough money to go through all that again. I think the reason why I keep dreaming about it is because my 10-year reunion is next month. I am so excited and I can't wait to see everyone. In the meantime, I'm busting my butt at the gym. Isn't that what people are supposed to do right before a reunion? :-)

Too honest? I'll take it!

So, I had been working a side-gig job in a local mall hawking teeth whitenings (I know, I know) since early May. I really enjoyed my job. I got to network and meet people and I made pretty decent money to boot. So, I go on vacation for 8 days and when I come back, I call to see if they need me to work this weekend since I knew they'd be short-staffed. The answer I got was that no I didn't need to come in this weekend and that we needed to have "a talk". Long story short, I was told that I am not manipulative enough to try and talk people into buying the product. I am too nice a person and too honest a person to make money for the company. Too honest? Not manipulative enough to talk people into buying? If being too honest a person is a crime, then lock me up! It was really a big complement. I like to think I have a decent amount of integrity, especially since I've been complimented on my honesty several times while working the mall job. I could have easily talked people into buying a product that wouldn't have worked on their teeth or suckered the rich people into padding my personal pockets but I would have lost sleep at night. If I can't make a buck and do it honestly, then it's totally not worth it.

Back to 100 degree weather...

We have returned from vacation. I'm glad to be home but bummed to return to the suffocating heat. The trip was nice and the weather was fantastic! I don't think it got out of the mid-70s the whole time we were in town (Laguna and San Diego). We ran into a couple of fiascos but it definitely made things memorable. Sang karaoke, walked several beaches, visited old favorite places, and the highlight of my trip was definitely getting to meet my brother-in-law, James. Truthfully he's the first of my hubby's family that I have ever met--they're all scattered around the country--and I was sad that I hadn't gotten to meet him earlier.

I know I've been promising pictures since we left but we were never in the hotel long enough for me to upload them to the computer. Tomorrow I will have a little free time so maybe I'll get it taken care of then. In the meantime, kiddies, I'm tired. Ready to get back into MY bed. Another wonderful summer is officially in the books...