The Quest

In a little over a year, I will turn the big 3-0. At my 10 year reunion I had an epiphany. I don't want to approach my 30s uncomfortable or unhappy with myself. Like most women, I have been unhappy with my body for the greater part of my life. I've never been the blonde little cheerleader type, never been the most "beautiful" by the general populace's standards and I have always felt the sting.

I've made a commitment to myself that over then next year (and couple of months, give or take) that I am really going to focus on ME and the way I want to look. It's not about a diet anymore. It's a lifestyle change that I have thought about and am beginning to embrace. I will track my progress on this blog and I understand that it will not come overnight.

I'm not only imspired by fellow classmates that were at the reunion this weekend but girls at my (former) gym whom I looked up to and took advice from as well. My ultimate goal is to participate in a figure competition much later down the road like Michelle, Misty, Jill and Bridget did. I know it will take a lot of hard work and discipline but I also know I can do it. Tonight when I get home, I'm going to sit down and map out the journey. It's time. I'm ready.

reunion

what can i say? it was everything I thought it would be and then some! Everything went off without a hitch and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I'm having an issue with my computer so pictures will be posted in another week or so when we go to my parents' house.

this dress eludes me

I have in mind the absolute PERFECT black dress. The problem is this: it exists only in my head. I wish like hell that I could track down my old friend, Servy from high school and have him make one for me. He now has his own line and lives in LA but after he cancelled his myspace, tracking him down has been one huge chore. Anyway, this dress. It's barely above knee-length, has long flowy sleeves that kind of triangle when my arms are straight out, and it has a plunging V-neckline. Don't you hate it when your idea of something perfect only exists in the mind?

3 days to go

My high school reunion weekend starts Friday and I'm so excited! I know I've posted about this before but it's like, actually here now and well, the getting ready is so much fun! Robert and I went shopping for decorations this past weekend since I'm in charge of decorating, I finished centerpieces last night and now all that's left is the superficial stuff--getting my eyebrows waxed, getting a haircut and I want to find a really cute black dress to wear Saturday evening but it's like, WHEN do I have time to go shopping? The answer is: I don't. So... here's to the MHS class of '98; see ya Friday!

NEVER AGAIN

I normally don't like to use the word "never" but I think in this case, it's necessary. I am NEVER drinking rumpleminz (sp?) again!!! That is one potent shot and I woke up out of a dead sleep around 3 am throwing up. The puking continued for 12 hours and I STILL feel like shit. I threw up so much that my stomach started burning and it hurts to eat. Seriously, no liquor is worth that. My poor body!

The Calm

I went running again tonight. The weather has been too perfect not to. I stopped counting after lap 8 so I'm not sure how far I ran but it felt wonderful. I used to hate running track when I was in high school. I did it so I wouldn't fall out of shape for cross country which I loved. I wasn't that great and never claimed to be; I've always run for the love of doing it. I love the solitude of running (I might have inadvertently stolen that sentence from Jessy). I love it that I don't have anyone's expectations to meet but my own. I love that it's the only thing I do that is 100% for no one else but me. But mostly, I love the calm that washes over me while I'm out there. The entire world melts away and it's me, the track and my tunes. I don't worry about anything, and the only thing I care about is the rush I get after knowing that I kicked my own ass and met the challenge.

The "new" 90210

The jury is still out as to my opinion of the revival of my beloved show. I missed the first hour so I'm going to have to go back and watch it next time I have time. Parts of it were totally lame but I liked other parts so... I will have to watch it at least one more time before I can come to a full decision. I was watching some late-night tv gossip show (like Entertainment Tonight or something) and one of the members of the new cast said something incredibly presumptuous like, "We're totally gonna kick the old one's ass." You can only hope for a 10 year run like your predecessor, honey. Steve Sanders, wherefore art thou?!