Me

I've been trying to figure out how to start this post. It's been awhile since I've blogged. This post is about me. It's about getting older. It's about becoming wiser. Changing. Learning. Growing. There is a stirring in my soul and I cannot quell it. It's like waves on a beach; calm and subtle, slowly reaching the point of high tide--unruly and strong.

I love to see the changes in myself. A couple of years ago, I was meek and afraid to speak my mind. I was afraid of the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, not having any friends. A couple of years ago, I would have never dared believe that I'm a strong person and that I'm worthy of the dreams I carry. A couple of years ago, I was afraid of dying without ever really having lived. I cared what other people thought of me and I wanted everyone to like me.

Now, I don't think that way. I have begun to speak up more when something bothers me and if the truth hurts, hey, at least you know what's on my mind. I manage to do it tactfully but the point is, I'm learning that it's okay to not hold back. I am not afraid of doing things on my own anymore. My job has been a lifesaver for me because I have gotten to know some amazing people who I can 100% be myself around. There are no pretenses, there's no drama and all of us in "the circle" would do anything for the other. Moving away from Decatur has been such a positive thing for me. I am learning more and more about myself as the days go by and the best part is that I am growing as a woman and gaining a mental strength and clarity that I have never had before. It's me getting older and wiser. I am not 16 anymore; that girl is long gone and hasn't looked back. This is the feeling of believing in myself and loving myself for the first time in my life; I relish and it feels so good.