Today I let him go...

I sent my youngest child into the big, bad world today. Brad started kindergarten. I've honestly been dreading this day all summer and it finally came. I knew I would be upset just like I was upset when Drew started kindergarten. It's so different, though, because he's the baby. He's it. We're not having any more children and the realization that he's getting so big really hit me this morning. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, but my throat got tight and my eyes started blurring with tears when I let go of his hand. I didn't dare speak because I knew I would lose it and I didn't want to scare or worry him. My hubby tried to rationalize for me like only he can do: "Well, he really should be a first grader." We chose to hold him back a year to give him some time to mature and I'm really glad we did because he was ready. He didn't look back and that confidence made letting go a little easier.

I hate food

I really do. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it but I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the guilt I feel when I over-eat. I hate the feeling that runs through my body when I over-eat. It makes me sick to my stomach and it's almost like I can feel my face getting fatter with every step I don't walk or run after I've eaten too much. I hate how I can feel the tops of my thighs brushing together.
Even my most well-intentioned days where I eat as carefully and as clean as possible don't help unless I workout really hard in the gym. I wish someone would lay it out for me and be like, "THIS is what you need to eat." It's not even a vanity thing with me. Just once I want to quit feeling guilty about the food I consume. I don't want to have to think about how physically sick I feel after I've eaten something I told myself I wouldn't. Ugh, I hate that I love food so much.
:-(

Annoys me more than anything

I have very few pet peeves. The one that gets on my nerves the most is being ignored. I can't tell you how much it angers me to go out of my way to contact someone (make plans, just say hello, etc) and get absolutely NO response at all. I understand a delayed email response. Not everyone accesses their email on a daily basis. But when I leave phone messages or send texts when I KNOW that someone's phone gets texts and they're not returned... I'm not vain enough to think that someone should stop what they're doing to respond to me but when days go by and I hear nothing, it pisses me off like no other. Let's just say that I now realize who my friends are.

Thankful

Just a quick blog to mention how thankful I am that I have such a great family. I'm thankful that I grew up having a comfortable home life. By comfortable I don't mean money. I mean, I'm thankful that my parents were loving, supportive, and that they loved each other. I'm thankful that even though they pushed my brother and I to be our best, they also respected our decisions to walk away from what we loved when we needed a break (singing, in my case; my brother chose the military over a college soccer career).
I'm thankful that even though there were tough times financially, we never went without and my parents never let on that they were struggling. My parents both worked very hard to make sure we had everything we needed and sometimes I still can't believe there were times when it was paycheck-to-paycheck because from the exterior, no one would have ever guessed.
I don't get the chance to say thank you to them enough. In my mind, thank you is a given and it shouldn't be. Even now, my parents go above and beyond for us. They do so much more than I could or would ever ask for and they ask for nothing in return. I need to tell them more often how much they're appreciated and how much I love them but my damn pride always gets in the way. I take them for granted and I tend to think that they just know. We're going to see them tomorrow like we do every weekend. It's always good to be able to go home.

This task...

I'm currently thinking, "what have I gotten myself into?!" but in a good way. My hubby is going to kill me but I have been put in charge of decorating the facility hall for my 10 year reunion next month. I'm very excited and definitely up for the challenge but on the other hand, I don't have a whole lot of time to get it all thought out. I'm seeking the advice of the creative! I am pretty artsy myself BUT two heads are always better than one. I'm posting a picture I found of a decorated reunion hall--in our school colors, too--which I think is simple but nice (right now I don't think there's a lot of money to work with). My main concern is going to be centerpieces. Suggestions and ideas are always welcome!

A realization

I was putting laundry in the dryer just a minute ago and I came to the realization that I wear a lot of brown clothing. I don't know why, but I'm just really in love with how brown looks on me. I've heard that black is a flattering color, especially if you're like me and carry a couple of extra pounds, but I almost think that black makes me look heavier. Anyway, it was just a random thought that I felt like blogging about.

The Olympics

I LOVE the Olympics! I have been watching them ever since they started and I am absolutely awestruck by the athleticism of everyone. I love the fact that they put in long hours to be amazing at their sport and I love how it pays off in the end for everyone involved (not just the US athletes). Last night Robert and I watched the men's 4x100M free relay and I think I've played it over a million times. Jason Lezak gave probably the best performance of any anchor leg of a relay that I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong: they ALL swam well, but damn, Lezak was incredible! The best part about these athletes is that in a sport like swimming, it's all heart. There is no professional swimming league where they have a chance to make a million+ dollars a year like the NBA or NFL. It's the pure love of the sport. And how classy of Phelps to congratulate the French anchor, Alain Bernard after the victory! He didn't have to do that, especially after Bernard was quoted as saying: "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." I love being a witness to history.